Death By Dump Truck

Have I mentioned the traffic laws here in India? Oh. Well, there's probably a reason I haven't. It's because there aren't any. And just to add a little excitement into the mix, there are also no seatbelts installed in any of the vehicles. There are scooters, hundreds, thousands of them, everywhere, and I have not seen a single person wearing a motorcycle helmet. It's a little bit like living in the enlightened states of Utah, Florida, and Arizona, whose residents also apparently believe in Karma. India has the highest traffic fatality rate in the world. Well, isn't that just a surprise! Human projectiles shot through the front windshield, scooter drivers entombed forever in the asphalt, pedestrians destined as dump truck ornaments. This is a wild and crazy place and tonight we did it in the DARK. I, of course, sat in the middle where I had a clear shot at the front windshield. Driving in India goes something like this: Keep your average speed at somewhere around 65 miles per hour and don't slow down for anything or anybody except cows. Ride everyone's tail, even the poor motor scooters. Do courageous battle with two immense dump trucks and just see if you can fit yourself between them for the thrill of it. Ignore all white lines. Run over the traffic direction cop. He was kind of worthless anyway. Drive so close to the pedestrians, you could see their underwear size - if Indians wore underwear. Do all of this while you're turned around chatting happily with the terrified passengers in the backseat. In the dark. With cows wandering nonchalantly on the highway. Tonight, I lived. Tomorrow? Check back with me later. Karma, you know.