Head Lice Outbreak!

I'm sitting here speed reading the instructions on the back of my 'in case of a rare outbreak' Lice Shampoo kit. People. we are in the middle of a head lice outbreak. A tutor was sitting next to a child today and suddenly there were little bugs all over the table. She asked the child what the bugs were. Nonchalantly as can be, the child said, "Oh, those are just lice jumping off my head onto the table." PANIC MODE. FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! It will be nearly impossible for me to avoid becoming infected. I'm with the children all day and often at night. They sit on my lap, run their fingers through my hair and look deeply into my eyes from oh, about a fourth of an inch away. I drew the line when they started putting their fingers up my nose. So, I've never had head lice and my kids never had lice. That's why I'm speed reading the instructions. I need to catch up. Coming to you live from Thottanaval Village in Tamil Nadu, India. LICE. Lots of them. I'll find some envelopes and send you some. Leave your address. Get your orders in soon. There will be two options available: (1) random head lice jumping everywhere, or (2) carefully cultivated head lice with a comb. AWESOME.