I need to find a government official. I have a few questions. Of course, finding one that isn't corrupt is quite a trick. Conservative estimates are that 75 percent of India's government workers do nothing without a bribe first. So I'm going to have to count my rupees and see if I can afford the interview.
Here's a few things I would like to know . . . . . . . .
1. Where can I find the online address locator map for convicted Pedophiles in Tamil Nadu?
2. What is the Hotline telephone number and 'safe haven' for domestic abuse victims?
3. Can I have a tour of that factory that uses children to knot rugs 12-16 hours a day? Would you mind if I brought along some sticky, gooey, chocolate candy for the little kids? Why not?
4. Where may I purchase a driver's license and can it be easily exchanged for a death certificate?
5. Is there a safe place where I can cast my vote? Some other polling booth besides the one where nine people were killed yesterday?
6. Would you mind explaining the bathroom protocol here in Tamil Nadu? Is it really all right to step outside an eating establishment and pee on the establishment's window? Really? Why not just think about not leaving a tip? Is that why all you men wear man diapers and drop them at the slightest encouragement? Honestly. I've seen more men peeing in ditches, on walls, at bus stops, and on each other, to last a lifetime.
7. Tell me the truth. I'll pay a bigger bribe. What REALLY goes on in the restaurant kitchens? I have seen dogs go in and never come out. I'm not complaining. I don't eat meat. I just want to know what happens to the dogs.
8. Would you mind telling me why my district is in the middle of a serious Cholera Outbreak and you never bothered to TELL the people in the district?
Well, I'll be having some more questions for you, Mr. officious official. Just as soon as I can scrape up more rupees to purchase some more of your integrity.
Here's a few things I would like to know . . . . . . . .
1. Where can I find the online address locator map for convicted Pedophiles in Tamil Nadu?
2. What is the Hotline telephone number and 'safe haven' for domestic abuse victims?
3. Can I have a tour of that factory that uses children to knot rugs 12-16 hours a day? Would you mind if I brought along some sticky, gooey, chocolate candy for the little kids? Why not?
4. Where may I purchase a driver's license and can it be easily exchanged for a death certificate?
5. Is there a safe place where I can cast my vote? Some other polling booth besides the one where nine people were killed yesterday?
6. Would you mind explaining the bathroom protocol here in Tamil Nadu? Is it really all right to step outside an eating establishment and pee on the establishment's window? Really? Why not just think about not leaving a tip? Is that why all you men wear man diapers and drop them at the slightest encouragement? Honestly. I've seen more men peeing in ditches, on walls, at bus stops, and on each other, to last a lifetime.
7. Tell me the truth. I'll pay a bigger bribe. What REALLY goes on in the restaurant kitchens? I have seen dogs go in and never come out. I'm not complaining. I don't eat meat. I just want to know what happens to the dogs.
8. Would you mind telling me why my district is in the middle of a serious Cholera Outbreak and you never bothered to TELL the people in the district?
Well, I'll be having some more questions for you, Mr. officious official. Just as soon as I can scrape up more rupees to purchase some more of your integrity.
WOW!!!
ReplyDeleteMy mom just told me she's afraid somebody is going to read my blog and come and have me arrested.
DeleteWould notification of a cholera outbreak even help? It sounds like hygiene options are limited no matter what.
ReplyDeleteYes, it would have helper. The villagers would have had an opportunity to boil their water. They aren't drinking safe water anyway, but their bodies have adapted to it to some extent. There is no protection for Cholera except to boil the water.
DeleteI don't know what to say....The sad fact is that this type of government exists in many, if not all third world countries. How could it ever change? Are the people just too tired trying to survive to fight back? Is there an answer to this horror? diane
ReplyDeleteCHOLERA! MOM!!!!!! I am so worried for you. Even my conditions in Ghana weren't that bad.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it almost time for you to come home...it seems like you have been gone forever!!!! Your post makes me want to sing the old folk song refrain, " when will they ever learn, oh when will they ever learn?"
ReplyDeletediane