I was rummaging around in a Harry Potter closet for some food to eat and you'll never guess what I found. A FLASHLIGHT! Yes, a flashlight. That works! No more heart-stopping sudden pitch black darkness when "Old Faithful", my former infamous flashlight shorted out at the most inopportune moments. I will say that I have developed some rather intricate dance moves in the dead of night trying to cajole "Old Faithful" into just a few more seconds of life giving light.
When I get home, I am going to become a professional Rumba dancer. I think I've got the moves. Rapid hops to the front, back, and simultaneously to the sides. A few light on the feet twists and turns and some graceful HUGE leaps into the air. I make Michael Jackson look . . . . . . . .well . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .dead. (That wasn't nice)
There is always a silver lining in every cloud. Why, yes, I do live among the most dangerous snakes in the world. Yes, I do have a healthy desire not to step on one. Yes, 'Old Faithful' was a blessing after all. I am now going to be on PBS dancing the Rumba for the big prize money. Who was it that said Ginger Rogers could do everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels? I am now a member of that elite dancing group. And I learned how thanks to 'Old Faithful'.
Some of you thought I would never be caught dead in India. It's true. I don't want to be caught dead in India. Yesterday, I made the mistake of asking someone what somebody was burning alongside the road. BIG MISTAKE. Here in lovely, rural India, when someone dies, there are no mortuaries . . . and no cemeteries, something I failed to note.
Thank you, God, for my new flashlight. And the paper clips.
Your friend,
Betty W. Johnson
ODL 567982 - Just in case I need to be identified before the bonfire.
When I get home, I am going to become a professional Rumba dancer. I think I've got the moves. Rapid hops to the front, back, and simultaneously to the sides. A few light on the feet twists and turns and some graceful HUGE leaps into the air. I make Michael Jackson look . . . . . . . .well . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .dead. (That wasn't nice)
There is always a silver lining in every cloud. Why, yes, I do live among the most dangerous snakes in the world. Yes, I do have a healthy desire not to step on one. Yes, 'Old Faithful' was a blessing after all. I am now going to be on PBS dancing the Rumba for the big prize money. Who was it that said Ginger Rogers could do everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels? I am now a member of that elite dancing group. And I learned how thanks to 'Old Faithful'.
Some of you thought I would never be caught dead in India. It's true. I don't want to be caught dead in India. Yesterday, I made the mistake of asking someone what somebody was burning alongside the road. BIG MISTAKE. Here in lovely, rural India, when someone dies, there are no mortuaries . . . and no cemeteries, something I failed to note.
Thank you, God, for my new flashlight. And the paper clips.
Your friend,
Betty W. Johnson
ODL 567982 - Just in case I need to be identified before the bonfire.
Live Betty! My mom is reading your blog, and each time she reads an entry she calls me and says, "I'd be dead." And you know what, it's true. You are a tough cookie!
ReplyDeleteI love your posts Betty. I can truly say that I am glad I am not there. I feel I am gaining a great understanding of India through your descriptive writing. It's enough for me that I won't need to see or visit first-hand.
ReplyDeleteYou should name your new flashlight Fred Astaire! Hopefully you won't need to dance with it, but if you do then you can claim you've danced with Fred Astaire. (And if it dies you can rename it Michael Jackson, haha).
ReplyDeleteBecky, you're going to have to invite me to your blog. It's closed to the general public. My flashlight's name is . . . . wait for it . . . . .Fred Astaire. Thanks for the inspiration!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I thought my blog was already open to readers, but now it definitely should be. I'm glad you liked my name idea!
DeleteBetty are you 100% sure that if we send you stuff you'll never get it? Because you could sure use about 20 more flashlights!
ReplyDeleteAbout 95 percent sure. But thanks for the warm thoughts!
DeleteThis is me checking in. BE SAFE. I'm freaking out.
ReplyDeleteYou and Mike will have to hit the clubs when you get home after you have taught him some of the moves. Can't you just pee in a coffee can in you "room" and not go out at night at all?????? Don they sell "Depends" there????? I am with the person above whose mother said, " I'd be dead". I KNOW I would be!!!
ReplyDelete