I was feeling kind of bad about my last post. Now that I've watched food being brought in that I haven't seen for months, been kicked out of my room to accommodate the 'visitors', and been cornered three times today by Board members, I've been too kind.
Honestly, at the moment, I am so tired, I could fall asleep standing up. I taught the regular schedule today, tutored Vennila, and then I had to move out of where I have been staying into another house. Every kindness done for me today has been at the hands of the housemaids and staff. They have been kept hopping trying to meet the demands of the board, yet they found the time to help me move. I didn't ask. They just did it. They looked sorrowful and that's how I felt, too. How I will miss their quiet grace and graciousness. I still get to see them, but no new English and Tamil words for a while.
This morning, at the request of the Program Director, I wrote an email outlining some improvements and changes that should and ought to be made. All hell has broken loose. I've been cornered three times today for a little 'chat'. I've been asked to attend a meeting tonight. It's not going to be a picnic. The Principal has been less than honest. I have kept a log of her responses, rebuttals, and resistance to implementing a school curriculum and a student behavior code. She's all smoke and mirrors. I'm going to attend the 9th-10th study hall as I always do instead of the meeting. Right now, I'm exhausted and hungry. I've lost so much weight, my watch falls off of my wrist. I'm disgusted with the dog and pony show going on around me. I'm at breakpoint. If I attend that meeting tonight, I won't be nice and in order to leave these kids with something, I have to be tactful and nice.
On the bright side, there is a small, but glimmering hope that I will be able to help Vennila get her passport. We are going to have to ride an awful bus into Chennai, but Vennila has single-handedly killed a Krait snake. In my book, that makes her near god-like. She's worried about me on the bus because I'm white and it's such a novelty among the general Indian population to see someone white, particularly in this area, and particularly a woman. With me along, Vennila's chances of obtaining a passport will skyrocket because I'm white, brassy, and bossy. At heart, all Indian men are subservient. It's a carryover from the British Raj. I intend to use that knowledge to my advantage. I knew my pushy self would come in handy some day. Say a little prayer for Vennila. I'll pay the fees and the bribes. Just hand over her damn passport.
I'm so tired. I'm sorry.
Honestly, at the moment, I am so tired, I could fall asleep standing up. I taught the regular schedule today, tutored Vennila, and then I had to move out of where I have been staying into another house. Every kindness done for me today has been at the hands of the housemaids and staff. They have been kept hopping trying to meet the demands of the board, yet they found the time to help me move. I didn't ask. They just did it. They looked sorrowful and that's how I felt, too. How I will miss their quiet grace and graciousness. I still get to see them, but no new English and Tamil words for a while.
This morning, at the request of the Program Director, I wrote an email outlining some improvements and changes that should and ought to be made. All hell has broken loose. I've been cornered three times today for a little 'chat'. I've been asked to attend a meeting tonight. It's not going to be a picnic. The Principal has been less than honest. I have kept a log of her responses, rebuttals, and resistance to implementing a school curriculum and a student behavior code. She's all smoke and mirrors. I'm going to attend the 9th-10th study hall as I always do instead of the meeting. Right now, I'm exhausted and hungry. I've lost so much weight, my watch falls off of my wrist. I'm disgusted with the dog and pony show going on around me. I'm at breakpoint. If I attend that meeting tonight, I won't be nice and in order to leave these kids with something, I have to be tactful and nice.
On the bright side, there is a small, but glimmering hope that I will be able to help Vennila get her passport. We are going to have to ride an awful bus into Chennai, but Vennila has single-handedly killed a Krait snake. In my book, that makes her near god-like. She's worried about me on the bus because I'm white and it's such a novelty among the general Indian population to see someone white, particularly in this area, and particularly a woman. With me along, Vennila's chances of obtaining a passport will skyrocket because I'm white, brassy, and bossy. At heart, all Indian men are subservient. It's a carryover from the British Raj. I intend to use that knowledge to my advantage. I knew my pushy self would come in handy some day. Say a little prayer for Vennila. I'll pay the fees and the bribes. Just hand over her damn passport.
I'm so tired. I'm sorry.
Remind them that you can leave at anytime. They should be treating you, the VOLUNTEER, with respect. Ug. Isn't it annoying when you volunteer to give of your time, comforts, and talents and not only are you not appreciate, but treated poorly? Tell them to suck it and come see me in Florida. :-) You can bring Vennila and the kids.
ReplyDeleteBetty, please don't apologize for ANYTHING. We are here for you to listen to you share your experiences and to vent, not to concoct some perfect fairy tale about India. Your honesty is refreshing. Rememeber in the old days (or maybe you don't) we jostled to be first to quote the shortest Bible verse "Jesus wept"? Well my shortest description of Betty is "get real" because if anyone does, it's you! And getting real is a compliment in my book. I certainly hope you're successful in getting Vennilla her passport. A little force judiciously applied certainly works - in the right place! Good luck and keep on hanging in.
ReplyDeleteOkay. Betty you can do it. You have cheering section here at home who are rooting for you and for those darling children. They deserve (as all children do) a quality education! What they need is a principal who has some experience in education. She may just be in over her head. Just your comments on the head lice issue made my skin crawl. According to their web-site health care is very important in their programs. If they can't clear up a little head lice, what else aren't they taking care of?????
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I love you and I'm rooting for you out loud right now.
GO BETTY! GO BETTY!! GO BETTY!!
Thank you, Sandra, my forever friend. I'm working on the list you asked for and I have part of it and ALL the new letters. You're going to cry when you get them. The eighth graders have sweetly asked your children if they would like a big sister or big brother. Yes, there are definitely some problems around here with what is believed and what is visible. I had a knock down drag out with the Principal last night. I've backed her into a corner. The Board is all here, they have read my emails, they are asking her to change. She insisted that she's been on board with a curriculum all along. When I produced a log I've been keeping for six weeks detailing her lack of response, commitment, and downright antipathy toward a curriculum, I caught her in a lie, lots of them - and it wasn't pretty. Now, I have to meet with her every day at 2PM to help her be a 'better principal' - more workload for me. Sandra, I wish I had you here whispering over my shoulder. I need your wisdom and counsel. I'm determined to leave the school a better place. Did I tell you about the tutor packets we're developing for reading? We're using the phonogram cards as the basis for that project and it's going to be great. More later. 43 days to go, Sandra. I love you. Thanks for being my cheering section, but more importantly, thanks for being my friend all these many years.
DeleteYou do what you need to do for the children and the workers. In the end that is the most important thing for you to do. You WILL leave the school a better place, I know that. I am praying for your saftey as you take Vennila to get her passport. I am sending you thoughts of love,peace, and stregth....
ReplyDeletedi
It sounds like you got through to the board if they tell the principal to listen to you. Good luck with that, if that woman doesn't want to change she won't. If that is the case the only positive change would be a new principal. I hope the board is ready to do that.
ReplyDeleteHal - I'm meeting with the Principal every day at 2PM by order of the Board. She's got herself into a fine mess. Don't we all do that every once in a while? I'll do all that I can to help her as long as she is sincere and honest. So far, that hasn't been her modus operandi, but she's had a few tough lessons this week. We're making progress slowly, but surely. Thanks for your interest, Hal.
DeleteI don't think there could ever be anyone better suited for this than you. India needs you no matter how small, or big a difference you make. I admire you so much because I know I could never be as brave as you. And I missed the whole passport thing somewhere. Where is she wanting to go?
ReplyDeleteLindsey - Vennila is trying to get out of India and immigrate to America with her two boys. There are a few problems, but hopefully, we can get those worked out. Vennila is illiterate through no fault of her own and she makes very little money. Thanks for your support, Lindsey. Boy, what I wouldn't do for a snickerdoodle cookie right now. :)
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